Steve McAllister's Blog

Blog about the process and product of writing.

Early Morning Owl – Revision

with 3 comments

I messed with the rhythm and rhyme in this poem and am now at a point where it’s closer to where I wanted it to be in the beginning.  There may be more in it, there may not.  We’ll just have to see.

In an oak of some sort at the corner of Mclintock and Garden
a screech owl sits on a hidden branch and a robin sits above him.
A south breeze remaining from a late night storm shakes the leaves of their water
and it’s enough for the owl to think it’s raining still and it shudders
the second rain from its feather shell mimicking the leaves in the south breeze. 
The two watch as I shuffle across the street crunching gravel under their tree
until I’ve passed far enough away that they think I’ll not see in the darkness
and the owl twists its head, looks to Robin, and whispers, “Watch this.”

Written by smcallister

July 25, 2010 at 1:31 PM

Posted in Writing - Poetry

Tagged with ,

3 Responses

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  1. It’s “shudders”, unless he was wearing some sort of ye olde Superhero wooden shields.

    “Defrock” him, please.

    I was hoping he’d turn to the Robin and say: Come on, Robin, to the bat cave. There’s not a moment to lose!

    Eileen

    July 25, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    • Yeah, I should have guessed I’d misspell that. I’ve misspelled it so many times.

      No superheroes here that I know of, but we must have a bat cave somewhere nearby because the bats are out in force in the neighborhood. So far, no Halle Barry Batwoman, though I’ve been keeping a watch.

      smcallister

      July 25, 2010 at 5:39 PM

      • Similar to my having to use the abbreviation: R&B…I can never remember how to spell the R word.

        Eileen

        July 25, 2010 at 6:37 PM


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